How Gratitude Boosts Confidence

Life is full of adversity and challenges making it difficult to maintain confidence.  However, with consistent practice, confidence is a skill that you can own regardless of circumstance or what is being thrown at you.

There are many ways to work at building and maintaining your confidence as referenced in “The Confident Athlete".  However, the one I want to discuss today is thankfulness.

While we all are aware of how gratitude makes us happier, many do not realize how it benefits our confidence.   A 2014 study reported in the Journal of Applied Sports Psychology, discovered that athletes who openly expressed more gratitude toward their coaches were more confident than those who weren’t as openly thankful.  In addition, when you take the time to list what you are thankful about, you naturally feel better about yourself, you are more positive, and you are better equipped to handle adversity.  All of these contribute to confidence building.

Start making this a habit.  Today be thankful for everything that happens to you.  Take some time wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, to come up with a gratitude list. Keep this list in view (on the refrigerator, mirror, etc.) where it can serve as a visual reminder.  There is so much to be thankful for, we just have to choose to see it. Often, we are so focused on what isn’t happening that we lose sight of the good.

If you want to experience lasting confidence in your life, you need to change your focus.  Specifically, you need to change your thoughts from focusing on what you don’t have, to want you do have.  From what isn’t going well, to what is going well.  Whatever you focus on is what you move toward!

Tami Matheny is the owner of Refuse2Lose Coaching and a founding partner at Success for Teams  

Take Responsibility for Your Own Confidence

By Tami Matheny, Mental Skills Specialist

It seems that we all want people to give us something, to help us with something or we just hope it appears magically. Take confidence for an example. How many people take full responsibility for their confidence? Lately, I have heard from all ages and genders that I lost confidence because coach didn’t have confidence in me. I have mulled this over in my head and I believe that it isn’t a coaches job to give their athletes confidence. Now that isn’t to say they have no role in it, but more of a supporting cast role- an adding to or building it up even more. A coach should not have a leading role in one’s confidence. If this is the case, confidence becomes fragile and like a roller coaster. It peaks and dips according to what a coach says or does, according to the coach’s mood, and according to the situation. The same can be said for teammates. Teammates comments and actions should not have a leading role in one’s level of confidence.

Another factor that I have noticed effects athlete’s confidence is playing time or whether they start or not. Now, I know everyone wants to start and play as much as possible but that isn’t always the case due to numerous reasons- you aren't as talented as someone in front of you, you aren’t working as hard as you should be, injuries have limited your practice time, lack of conditioning, matchups against various opponents, bad attitudes, and on and on. So the easy way out is to let your confidence take a hit. If you really think about it, doesn’t this ultimately show the coach they were correct in not starting you?

If you want to start taking control of your confidence, start by taking responsibility and putting more focus on what you can control.  For additional ways to increase your confidence, contact us at