Take Responsibility for Your Own Confidence

By Tami Matheny, Mental Skills Specialist

It seems that we all want people to give us something, to help us with something or we just hope it appears magically. Take confidence for an example. How many people take full responsibility for their confidence? Lately, I have heard from all ages and genders that I lost confidence because coach didn’t have confidence in me. I have mulled this over in my head and I believe that it isn’t a coaches job to give their athletes confidence. Now that isn’t to say they have no role in it, but more of a supporting cast role- an adding to or building it up even more. A coach should not have a leading role in one’s confidence. If this is the case, confidence becomes fragile and like a roller coaster. It peaks and dips according to what a coach says or does, according to the coach’s mood, and according to the situation. The same can be said for teammates. Teammates comments and actions should not have a leading role in one’s level of confidence.

Another factor that I have noticed effects athlete’s confidence is playing time or whether they start or not. Now, I know everyone wants to start and play as much as possible but that isn’t always the case due to numerous reasons- you aren't as talented as someone in front of you, you aren’t working as hard as you should be, injuries have limited your practice time, lack of conditioning, matchups against various opponents, bad attitudes, and on and on. So the easy way out is to let your confidence take a hit. If you really think about it, doesn’t this ultimately show the coach they were correct in not starting you?

If you want to start taking control of your confidence, start by taking responsibility and putting more focus on what you can control.  For additional ways to increase your confidence, contact us at successforteams@gmail.com.